Scratches

Firstly, 

Dunno if you can see it. I got 3 long scratch marks on the back of my neck. I'm not really sure where they came from, but they hurt like hell when I first found out about them. I woke up and had this pain at the back of my neck. I thought it was dry skin or somthing, not actually scratches until my housemate pointed it out. Hahah, it happened while I was sleeping I think. Really need to clean my bed (please no dirty-minded comments about this). When I was studying on my bed, this big assed spider appeared on my head next to my pillow. The reaction would be as expected:

"drill bits functions to...HOOOLY FUUUCK, SPIDEEEER!!!!"

*jumps of bed and collapses on the floor*

Yeah, I have a fear of the creepy crawlies, mostly spiders. My house mates actually got a video of me 'reacting' to a bigger spider that was in one of the other rooms. Hopefully, that video has dissappeared, burned and wiped of the face of the planet. Well, back to the main point, the scratches, were they made by spiders? I hope not, I'm more scared of them laying eggs in my brain. I'd be more comfortable thinking a ghost or vampire was sucking on my neck rather than spiders crawling all over me when im asleep.

Well, semester's done, studying period has been on for almost a week. Its been days leading up to the study week were pretty hectic, but we all got through it.

No presentations

No more UNI during crazy weather

No more doing assignments until 3AM in the morning

No more cold freezing lectures

Now its just studying, and xams. Yeah, I'll miss seeing my coursemates, but hey, we all need a break from each other once in awhile, hahaha. I get a two week break (10 days actually) after my xams, then its summer school. Pretty sad when I think about being alone for 3 months, but fuck it, thats life. hehheh, all my good friends, including the non-bruneians are going back home for summer. And I'll be stuck here doing maths....whooppeeee.

Oh rainy days, I won't let you bring me down...

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P.s: Owh, and I want this game so badly.....ALLOWANCE PLEASE COME OUT SOON-er! 

Spiderman bebeh! :P

Islam and the Little Big Planet

Hey, not much to say except that I overslept when i had a ton of work to do. Heheh, anyways, all you PS3 gamers or gamers in general. You guys should probably know by now that the game 'little big planet' was recalled worldwide, because it contained a song with quran verse in it. Well, like most people, I was like WTF? I dunno whether i was pissed that somebody messed with the quran verse or that the game was recalled back because of Islamic concerns. Well, I searched for the song on youtube and it turns out I have heard this song before.

Its a very beautiful song from my point of view and sad that it's going to be removed. The song is called is called "Tapha Niang" from the 2006 album Boulevard de l'Independance by Grammy award-winning Malian kora player Toumani Diabaté. Passages of the Qur'an being recited in the song include: 1- In the 18th second: "كل نفس ذائقة الموت" ("kollo nafsin tha'iqatol mawt", literally: 'Every soul shall have the taste of death'). 2- Almost immediately after, in the 27th second: "كل من عليها فان" ("kollo man alaiha fan", literally: 'All that is on earth will perish'). I actually watched it being performed on tv for a french/african festival or something a month ago, it even had subtitles so one would understand the lyrics.

Yes, many can ponder to why the game was recalled due to the song. Firstly, using quran verse, I don't know the facts, but is that allowed, even if it's used in a beautiful manner. It sad if we can't sing about the book we love though... people are probably more scared of the fact that Islamic extremists are very sentive and might retaliate. 

Second, the lyrics, I mean, some people will obviously misinterpret it due to the fact that its talking about death. I think it suites the game perfectly. makes us think about the bigger picture (little big planet). We create the worlds in the game and we make these characters play around in them until they eventually fall victim to a falling wooden gorilla or something. Its kinda ironic serious song, but its beautiful and sets the mood. The song is kind of for a mature mindset, but hey....the world is full of inmature hateful people.

Hm...final thoughts that it should have stayed. Political correctness, hate and intolerance yet agains makes the world a sad place to live in...

Gelatissimo Cravings...

What do you do if you're stressed out studying for your tests and the temperature goes up to 30 degrees? Well, you go down to the beach and eat ice cream of course! Well in this case, gelato at gelatissimo. 

Zarif and Abu

Amal and the new cheesecake range of gelato

Me, a cookies and cream/chocolate gelato and my perut buncit.

Hot Day + Sunday + $3 a scoop = Gelatissimo's high profit margin

Speaking of profits, I am currently in a deficit. Hahah, allowance just doesn't come soon enough. But I have enough money I think to last me through the study period. My coffee jar is still half-full so that's all I'll need for the next few weeks. Did my french listening test on Monday. Listened to a dialogue between a detective interviewing a lady who returned home and found a burglar. I only understood half of the dialogue. The only part I was confident about was the fact that she was a shopkeeper at a shoeshop (Elle est vendeuse a magasin de chassuesse). Everything else was antam. hahaha. Next test for me is a drilling lab test which is in 7-8 hours. Hope I do well. ;)

I thought that with everything I said and did, 

I hoped it had actually meant something, 

I hoped that you would remember but now it is finally clear. 

You are happy and I guess that's what matters. 

I can stop hoping now...

thank you so much for making me lose hope. 

Another dream ends...

Last weeks...

It's the end of my 11th week of 2nd semester. One more week and then its study period. Time flies so fast...well maybe its cuz of the new 12 week semester compared to 14 weeks last year. Can't believe I'm almost reaching the halfway point of my degree... two more years and I'm done.

Took this photo on the way to gym after class. The contrast between nature and concrete seemed very beautiful. Life is so beautiful, can't help but think of the things that has passed this year. Happiness, laughter, sadness and hearthache, I experienced it all and will keep on experiencing it. Ill love my friends, my housemates and my family, warts and all.

 Today was my last petrophysics lab. Only three of us came, Sarah, Saad and me. I thought Zhixi (our lab demonstrator) would freak, but I think he seemed happy as well cuz it was the last time he had to demonstrate . I still kept reassuring him that most of the other people in the lab didnt  come because they came the previous week. Zhixi is a nice guy, always smiling and he never scolds us. Kinda feel like we take advantage of him sometimes. Best lab demonstrator ever!

Zhixi, Sarah and Saad.  Caught Sarah off guard with the picture. haha, kinda of weird it just being the four of us in the lab doing the lab procedure. Luckily, I"m close with them, so it wasn't awkward. Yeah, I'm still awkward around people I'm not used to. Sarah and Saad are some of my good friends here. Sarah's half Malaysian and Australian (malaysian migrated to Oz), and Saads Arab and part-malaysian (only found that out this year). Saad doesn't speak malay, so me and Sarah messed around with him by talking with each other in Malay.

After a very fun lab (since it was only three students and the last lab, we got to do all the work and mess around with the equipment), we sat around and chatted about what we wanted to do in the future. We talked about what speciality of Petroleum Engineering we're going to do. Saad already has his future picked out for him (Aramco Scolar Student), he has to be a drilling engineer. Sarah still hasn't decided. I've tried out petrophysics during attachment which was okay but not something I'd like to do for the rest of my life. Reservoir Characterization seems hard and stressful, so I'm opting for drilling or production technology. 

We also talked about what it's like living on the rig and all the stuff that can happen. Sarah said during her attachment at Woodside, this guy got electrecuted while opening a first aid box! Imagine that! hahah, turns out the first aid kit was nailed to a live wire. Zhixi's story was gruesome though. He was in charge of these group of students. They were headed toward this rig in the countryside (near farms etc), and they had to cross this small raving or ditch. Each of them one by one jumped across. The fifth guy jumped and grabbed hold of an electric pole. Guess what happened? Yup, he got electrecuted and died.  Zhixi quit that job after that...scary

Sarahs going off the Texas for exchange next semester, so not going to see her for awhile after the exams are done. Kinda sad, gonna miss her cheery and feisty attitude. Hm...now that I think of it, class just isn't going to be the same. Ah well, at least i got Saad to keep me company and slack off in class, bwahaha. I also have my crazy ass housemates. Just before this we were fooling around loudly in the kitchen and ended up waking up the landlord upstairs. She rang the housephone but we didn't pick it up. We just pretended we didnt hear it a silently went into our rooms. It was like a turn-off switch of craziness. heheh

It's gonna be weird being alone here when they go back for summer. I try not to think about it too much. At least the house isn't huge (huge empty houses creep me out). And I have the landlord's dog outside the window to annoy when I'm lonely. hahah. Actually, I wanted to get a cat... gonna cost me $200 which I don't have right now. Maybe when my allowance gets out. Ah well, gotta go study. Hope I can do better this semester. Wish me luck.

Can't help it

Second last week of the semester and its the second last test for my french today. Need to study, so going to go off in a bit. Lately, all my posts have been rather...well depressing. Yeah, I admit I'm depressed, and I shouldn't be. Life is can be better spent without all this moping. I started going to gym again, hopefully I'll stick to it this time. Going for these steps classes, which is really fun. Just have to find time for it. Running makes me feel better... 

I miss Centenial Park, used to jog there everyday when I lived in Kensington. I can jog to coogee beach, but its too...sandy...hahah and cold and to many hills in between the beach and my house. 

When I'm not jogging, I'm stuck at home. Putting off study for internet, guitar and games. Haha, I been forgetting to control my spending lately. Ebay and Shell Allowance don't mix. Some days I have to starve cuz I don't have cash to buy groceries or eat out. Lesson that should have been learnt a long while ago.

Yeah, but being here in Sydney, when I think about it, is all worth it (ups and downs). To quote moulin rouge: Truth, beauty, freedom and love. Learnt about all these things after being on my own. Truth: People... the lies you have to realise and the truth you must believe from them. Beauty: How beautiful life is, like realising how beautiful it is when you finally get your housemates finally clean the dishes. Freedom: Control fo yourself, what you do and its impact on everything else. Don't take for granted that even though your in another country, away from the eyes of everyone, the big guy up there is still watching you. Last but not least, love: its a fools game.

Am I a fool, who tries too hard or am I a fool who does not try hard enough? Am I a fool who puts too much trust in people or am I a fool who can't trust anyone enough? Am I a fool for being  a dreamer or a fool for being too pessimisistic? Am I a fool, cause I can't help but fall in love with you?

You don't need me anymore...

I thought it was a bit suffocating when your presence used to cling on to me, it held me back and stopped me from doing what I wanted to, our reliance on each other seemed to be a sad disease...

When the chance came, I tried to break free, and pushed you away. I pushed everything away, hoping things were indeed better on the other side.

Now I'm here, alone, without the things that should have stayed with me.

I pushed everything so far away, that its no longer in reach. Now you don't call me anymore. Now you don't talk to me anymore. Now you don't even look at me anymore.

I guess the time has come, when you finally don't need me anymore...

Main Hati...

It's been awhile since I've updated. My birthday has come and gone, I'm a year older but heck I don't think I'm wiser. Got results of one of my tests again and they seen to have been going in the same trend lately. It's like whatever the fuck I do, I can't seem to get things right. What's even shitier is the fact that I know I'm doing it wrong and whenever I try to change myself for the better it always for the worse. I sick of trying and failing, I'm sick of putting so much effort and getting nothing but this cruel feeling in my chest. Sigh..I miss home... but I don't think I can even face my family. I haven't failed yet, but I'm not doing the best I could and thats just not me.

I don't know who I am lately you know. I sorta drifted off after SMB. Felt like I was tumbling downhill since then, still barely grasping on. I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. I barely recognise that fuck up staring back. I can't be who I want to be, I can't be what they want me to be. I can't be who god wants me to be. I feel like nothing right now, just a waste of air. I wish I had my good friends by my side again. I can't talk to anyone here... I used to but... sigh..

I'm sorry for not being a good friend... Sorry for not being a good son... Sorry for not being a good muslim. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.