So long ago...

This was taken 2 years ago at coffee zone Gadong. I miss you guys, hahah

Give me that horizon

Made this ages and ages ago. I remember thinking of the future when I made this, imagining what could be over that horizon. I imagined the relaxing on the safety of the white beaches is going to end and the rough swim I coming ahead. This picture is as significant to me now as it is back then. As I am in the rough waters now, far way from those days dreaming on the beach. I have to keep my eyes set on the horizon, so this is what I have to remember the most before I drown in this confusing sea of thoughts. The reason I took that plunge, was so that I could finally reach that horizon, reach that sky.

Sorry with the endless beach, horizon metaphors. I seem to be thinking about it alot. heheh, my exams next week, wish me luck! Assalamualaikum

Little Mosque on the Prairie

While I was downloading new episodes for my TV show stock, I came across a tv series called "little mosque on the prairie". It's canadian made I think and its a comedy about islamic community in a western society. Who would have thought they'd someone out there would make a westerm comedy tv series, Islam centered? Here part one of episode 1 from season 1.



Typical comedy and sometimes not accurate, but hey, its a start. And womennya belebih!!! The show is apparently in its third season.

Pumpkins

~ two more weeks...

Since you asked

I'm cured! Thank you drugs! =p

Missing out...

Being away from the people you love and hold dear is never easy. It's also very hard to fight that feeling of loneliness and emptiness that you feel every time you think of them. Then you have to fight those crushing thoughts of whether they've forgotten you or you are starting to forget them. You get angry at yourself and at them, and soon that emptiness you felt, turns into bitter anger, regret and sorrow.


But, in the end you just have to remember. You have to reach into your mind and get a grip, fighting away those pointless self-harming thoughts and bitter feelings. Its trusting yourself basically, and having lots of faith to keep you going. Strengthen yourself and don't let the world collapse on top of you. Just keep believing its there, over that ocean, under that sky, the connection you made with each other. It'll stretches wide and thin, but that distance can't break it.... I know it won't...

Thinking of you where ever you are...

Doctors are annoying

Well... I hate going to the doctors, I usually avoid them at all costs. Some of my close friends know this. I rather suffer with strange fevers for a week than go meet a doctor. I only go to the docs when I really reaaaally have to. And unfortunately, today, I had to.

Well, new year came, and what a great way to begin it with an outbreak of god knows what on my face. It started out with dry skin, then it became a tiny rash, then pimply, then painful and scabby. It spread from my cheeks to my forehead, nose and now all over my neck. I thought it was acne or just a little rash that would go away after a few days. But the rash things were itchy and after awhile painful, felt like my skin was burning. I thought I probably caught some type of bug... for awhile I even thought I got a flesh eating virus. hahah, yeah, my imagination tends to get the best of me sometimes.

So after a few days of huge discomfort and irritation, I set up an appointment with the UNI doctor. So when I got to the health centre, I had to fill a form, which I find annoying here in AUssie, cause I have to explain over and over again about my 'abnormally' long name and which parts are my first and which parts are my last. After filling them up I had to wait. One of the great pains is waiting. Cold room with my face itchy like hell, getting annoyed every time someone else gets called in and walks by you. Felt like I want to trip them over just to past the time. hahaha

Well, after the hell of a long time of waiting, the doc called my name. What made me annoyed even more was the fact that while feeling up the sheet at the beginning, they had a box there where I had to write my 'prefferred name' which is the name I'd like to be called. I put in 'Hadee' cause I preffeeeereed Hadee. I pressumed she would call me by this prefferred name, but guess what. She didn't. She called me 'AK' which was the first part of my full name. Whats the point of me writing my preffered name if she isnt even gonna call me by that name. As a mental payback, I decided to 'notice' all her faults; short, skinny, ugly. Haha :P

When I sat in her office, I hoped that she would be one of those friendly doctors who chat up a bit, and ask you bout your day. Unfortunately, she was one of those cold, its all business no eye contact, I hate human beings type doctors. She asked me whats was wrong, and I told her about the outbreak on my skin. After barely looking at me, she just said; "oh...I think you got an infection'. I so badly wanted to scream out; "NOO FREAKIN DUUUH" to her. What makes it worse, she didnt even try to ask me how I got it. I had to pry it out of her with my curious I dont know anything act. She wasnt even concerned how I got it or how I should prevent it. What kind of doctor is that? Not gonna visit her anytime soon I promise you that!

Anyways, she prescribed me antibiotics and sent me on my way. I deliberately told her it was painful and itchy during the check up, but she still didnt give me any cream for that. I wanted to leave so bad that I didnt bother asking her. Ran out of the health centre and to a pharmachy for my medicine. I also miss the convenience of Brunei's free health. Paid $15 for the antibiotics which sadly made my wallet half empty. So sad... hopefully the medicine will work and I'll be free of this itchiness and discomfort FOREVEEEEEER! WAKAKAKAK. Assalamualaikum ! ;)

Hadee needs to concentrate...

Hadee needs to concentrate...

Hadee is scratching an annoyingly painful rash on his face...

Hadee needs to concentrate...

Hadee walks aimlessly around the house looking for something to clean

Hadee needs to concentrate...

Hadee surfs the net, visiting and reloading the same websites and blogpages over and over again...

Hadee needs to concentrate...

Hadee is staring blankly at a spider making a giant web outside his bedroom window...

HADEE NEEDS TO CONCENTRAAAAAATE!!!

Hopefully, Hadee is concentrating now...

A sums up of summer

Well, new year has come and I've moving on to my final 3-2 weeks of summer classes. It was daunting at first. Starting the classes I felt almost at my lowest point. It was my first time being almost totally alone and far away from all I knew. Most of my friends have gone on holiday or back home for summer, and I had almost no one to turn to. Yes, it did get really boring and lonely on some days. Even going online was a mood killer cause I'd feel so low once I see or hear one of my friends enjoying themselves and/or doing the stuff that I should be doing if I didn't stupidly fail my maths in my first year.

But I coped I guess and learn to deal with my situation. I tried to stop thinking about what has passed, and I am working harder and concentrating more on my work. I actually understand what the lecturer is saying in the lectures compared to before. Alhamdullillah, the results of my first two maths class tests came in and I got 9/10 for both of them which is something I'd never thought possible. Maybe its the monotonous work reminiscent of high school brunei days. Maybe its the lighter work schedule. Maybe its the fact that I'm spending time away from people who depress me. Maybe its because I'm praying more. Maybe its all of that or none. But, whatever it is, its working for the best.

And when I think on the positive side, summer is not that bad. I actually more independant which is what I wanted when I moved over here, and I actually got to experience Sydney at some of its greatest times of the year (xmas, boxing day and new year). And I'm also so lucky that Miza and Laila, my two other friends who are stuck here in sydney, are such good sports. I travelled more and did more spontaneous stuff than with any of the other friends. Life's not meant to be spent waiting around for something to happen, and I've think I've finally understood that.

I'd like to thank Miza and Laila for keeping me company during these pass weeks. Thank you for all those random outings, rants, compulsive baking, beach combing, dog scaring, train tunnel suffocation, chair falling, bus backbiting moments that made what would have been a most stressful time for me more torable than I ever thought it would be. I'd also like to thank MsSixOhSIx for keeping me company on the net. Having someone layaning me for once is such a welcome change. Hope u are enjoying ur well deserved holiday in Brunei...or Singapore...or wherever. haha.

Anyways, sorry no pictures in this post. Pictures take too long to upload. I leave you with some art from a comic that I've been working on for awhile. Yeah, if you didnt know, I am an engineer who loves art. I'm gonna start putting some of my artwork here, cause it shows a little bit more of who I am. hehe, enjoy and assalamualaikum.

Just another day...

Another day... where everything just seems hopeless...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 1430/2009 !!!

Heya you guys, Just wanted to wish everyone Selamat Tahun Baru Hijrah 1420 and a Happy New Year 2009. Minta Maaf for any wrong I have done or said in the past and hope that the new years will be better for all of us. This marked the first time that I spent new years out of Brunei and it was my best of luck that I got to spend it in Sydney because I had to redo my maths course! Spent my new years at the Sydney Opera House in Circular Quay, the city of Sydney with my family who were visiting me for the holidays.

Me and my mom. Wearing the cap cuz I was having a bad hair day (on new years, how ironic)

Upon reaching Circular Quay, you could sum up everything in 3 words: "GILA, ATU RAMAI!!!"

We came around 3pm, had to come early to get a good spot. Here you can see people getting ready to welcome the new year with tents, umbrellas and blankets. Luckily, it was hot too, so banyak skin, RrrRRrr

We found a good spot on the top steps of the sydney opera house, where we had a good view of:

The Harbour Bridge, where the fireworks will take place

The spot also overlooked the massive crowds and port. Which is a quite a sight as itself.

To overcome the panasness, we have lotsa drink, food and of course, ICE CREAM!

Had to find stuff to do while waiting. Entry to the place was closed around 5, so lucky we came early.

The day was hot, not a freakin cloud in the sky.

Only got cooler around sun set. Got skywriting in the sky, malas ku upload the whole thing. hehe, one said "Call mum!"

Sunset is beautiful as expected.



And the lights come on!

Never been to Opera House at Night


Kshiiiiing!

Pretty Lighty boat things all over the harbour!


Lights up!

PreShow fireworks @9pm. (Yes they had preshow fireworks!)








More boaaats!!!

and more booaats

After few more hours of lepaking, midnight finally came and the countdown began!

...and we started new year with a bang~!!!

The fireworks lasted for 15 mins+ , expected it to be longer but worth the hours of waiting. The pictures don't show much, but the fireworks was going on everywhere. Even arah buildings lining the harbour. I got most of it on video, nanti ku upload lau ada masa. People singing and cheering, the oos and aas. Simply awesome and a great experience. This was my first new years without my cousins so it felt a bit weird. Also felt weird since I didnt have a jumping screaming partner (my sis is not very expressive), so I cheered with random people.

After fireworks was done, had to make our way through the hordes of people to the buses. My new years eve and new years celebration went well, and I hope yours were awesome to. Miss you guys always! Happy New Year and assalamualaikum!