A cycle of pointlessness

A cycle of pointlessness
Listening to:-
Right now it's Fall out boy - bully? (I noe it's fall out boy, but i have no clue what the song title is)

Condition:-
A little lost... (I wish i had that compass from POTC)

Shit...I love listening to the radio here in Aussie. The music they play is so diverse unlike some predictable cycles of some other stations. Speaking of predicable cycles... yeah, seems like I'm falling into one again. Instead of typing up one huge post of me splurting out my fucking emotions and getting emotional and depressed and deleting this whole post when I finish, I'll try to skip over that part and try to blindly forget about it.

Bare with me, I just wanna read for myself what the hell I'm thinking and see if it actually makes sense. The reasons I type a blog is so that once in awhile is so that I can get back on track or release a whole load of feelings I've held inside me. I need a little reminding from myself...

fuck you... FUCK YOU... YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE... you dont know shit... AND YOU'RE JUST AS MUCH AS A FREAK AS I AM...

This feelings for you...are they real? Hah, I'm just fooling myself again... step on me, I am your doormat, I'm talking into thin air, the tears are shed mean nothing to you...

I'm looking for...looking for god? Am I? Or am I saying that just so that i feel better about myself. I hate myself...for lying to myself....for being so stupid...and doing absolutely nothing about it.

Am I ready for this? Am I ready for anything at all?

Hold me...please...tell me there's a point to me waiting like this...tell me that you can save me...promise me that you'll be there when I wake up for once...

I'm saving everyone....why can't they save me for once?

I wish i could just sit here, listening to music all day long. I wish things weren't so complicated, I wish I could be with you all the time, I wish you'd feel the way I do. I wish I would stop fooling myself.

Dissappear