What am I doing here?

View from Scientia Bld where I had my MATS&CHEM exam.

I don't know what to make of yesterday. I can still feel the burn in my insides, I want to sleep it off but I slept for 12 fuckin hours last night. Woke up just in time for Friday prayers just now. In the eve of my MATS xam, I slept for 2 hours, which I guess didnt help at all. I did manage to get a few extra hours of reading, but in the end, I think I still fucked up the god forsaken exam. Amazingly, I managed to do the Chem part, and what stressed my out, was the fact that the Materials section was so fuckin hard. I left our reading a few topics and whaddya noe, those topics came out and the one I concentrated on didnt.

What is education anyway, FUCKING MEMORIZING A TEXTBOOK? I hate it here, I feel so stupid cause hey what do you know, I HAVE PROBLEMS MEMORIZING STUFF. It also, do the same fucking questions over and over again until it gets all systematic and you repeat it for the xams. And at the end of the day, we're gonna forget this stuff. Look at me blaming the education system. Sigh, I know at the end of the day, it all comes from the effort I put in and yeah, maybe I could have put a lot more effort. But how can you put effort into something you don't enjoy? The pressure with all these expectations and my SHELL scholarship and future job lingering in the balance is really stressin me out. Life is fucked up.

Me resting next to Izah on the way to Bondi Junction.

Well, I left the exam hall an hour early. Just needed to get out of there, cause theres nothing more I could salvage from that paper. Stressin out so much I called home, first time in 3 weeks. It was really good to hear my mom's voice again. All and all, dissappointing her is what I dread the most. So I told her everything, which I rarely do. I really miss having someone to let it all out to. After our talk, I took her advice I went out with my friends.

Asqa, Yamin, Zimah & Nisah

Hafiz control

Bondi Junction, havent been there in awhile. Went with Hafiz, Yamin, Asqa, Nisah, Izah and Zimah. Met up with Long and Leena there. Did manage to have some fun. What do Bruneians do best? WINDOW SHOPPING! And what better place to go window shopping than Bondi Junction. Mall is just a corner shop compared to this place. So many things on my wish list. A wii, camcorder, and new speaker system. But when I really thought about it, I dont really think I deserve it, I mean, I'm just wasting away Shell and my parents money without having anything to show. I have a perfectly good DS anyway. Will probably buy the wii for my sister.

Long(center) big $pender got new clothes. Asqa (right) bought a new harddisk. Yamin(left) got nothing, heheh.

After walking around and looking at all the cool new gadgets, clothes and other stuff went to eat at the foodcourt, Long went back early cause of expensive parking. A word of advise, eating out when you're hungry, is never a good idea. Spent $13.50 on my meal. kenyang plang and it was seafood which I haven't had in awhile. The others had indian food.

Well after eating, went to do more window shopping. I went to the BORDERS book store. Books are expensive btw. Soon it was getting late, and went back to meet my friends. Wow, its so easy to get lost. Made everyone miss the bus (sorry guys) had to wait up for the next one. By the end of the day my mood just died on me. Was thinking too much again. Like, what am I doing here, really? I feel a little better now though after typing this up. I just need to talk more I guess, hahah, well my last exam, GEOs, is on Wednesday, gonna learn from my mistakes and revise and study MORE than is capable of a human being, just to make sure. Wish me luck you guys, can't wait to be home in Brunei.

Christmas decorations are up ready, can't wait for the holidays.