Sunday, September 27, 2009

A little push

Now and then I think of those times
and wonder if they were ever real
your smile sincere, your laugh unforced
those fleeting moments where you were not afraid to look me in the eye
those promises...our promises...

I stepped back and teetered on the edge
I closed my eyes and held my breath hoping to sense your warm embrace
but it never came, all I felt was the icy chill of the air as I fell through it
and as i opened my eyes, all I could see was the figure of yourself growing smaller and smaller
until it disappeared over the towering cliff of the past

In the blackness, I thought it was gone, I wished for it to be so...
i blanked out every memory and every wish
I rubbed it out in pure spite
Every ounce of sadness I would have felt in doing so was numbed out with a breath of smoke
Every tiny feeling of guilt lagged far behind as I ran away as fast as my weary legs could take me
Everying was stripped away till only a pale shadow of myself was left

He promised me I would live life the way I wanted, without regret
His promises were the one I trusted, cause though he failed constantly, I knew he was trying
and that was all that mattered, all that I could care for right now...
You may abandon me, step on my pride and spit on my sincerity
I will live as I am



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