Sunday, November 08, 2009

Clarity?

Sorry for the lack of updates, actually made a string of video blogs but my laptop finally died on me and updating from my itouch. My laptop hasn't fully died, just the Internet function, can't connect and cAn't do shit with it except watch series and revise past year PDF files.

Things has been okay for me lately I guess. Still haven't kicked my habit, seemed to have intensified though. I chalked it up to the stress of studying but as my friend so clearly put it: you're addicted. Not proud of myself at all, but it eases the pain. Yeah, I'm being dramatic, but it works for me in some way. I'm not as restless and depressed as before. Instead of crying in a corner, I'm a stoned out Zombie. Which works better? I like the latter, cuz it makes me happy, even if it's just an instant. Yeah I don't know why I'm trying to justify myself here... Am I looking for acceptance? I shouldn't be... God I'm pathetic

Life is moving on for you I guess and I'm happy for you. Just wish you'd tell me what you're thinking instead of leaving me out in the dark like you always do. Protecting me or yourself, I never really know. Tired of being the one who tries too hard, wish you would too. I've done my part.


From my itouch~

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