I woke up today from a dream, and it was different. It was different cause I realised I haven't had a dream in a long long time. So, a lingering thought stayed with me that day, have I lost myself so much that I've forgotten how to dream?
Something else had been different today, I was awake for once. It was strange... I was aware of the world around me and not tired. A familiar side of me had suddenly reappeared, and I was glad. Then I thought about what I'd done and what had happened to have gotten me to this point. I remembered the dream I had, and it was about you. And I realised I never had this dream before. We were talking face to face, and we picked up the conversation where we left off. You were clearing me off the doubts I've been having ever since. You were giving me an answer, and I was happy. I can't remember whether it was the answer I wanted or not, but I was just happy I got an actual answer. I didn't have to wander, I didn't have to tear myself apart anymore.
So I felt free, and though it was just a dream, I'm happier for some reason. I've been sleeping better, and I'm living better now...I guess. Still a lot of work to do. Maybe it's Allah telling me to get back to normal. Allah has been too kind lately, and I haven't thanked him too much. Thank you so much.
I wish I have new jeans I wish I have new sneakers I wish I could wake up for once without feeling so tired I wish I could raise up my marks I wish I wasn't so lazy I wish my work would actually mean something I wish I made better choices in life I wish I was a better Muslim I wish I could love and be loved I wish I could not hate and envy I wish I could sleep and not wake up
She was my everything. I held her close to me everyday that I could. I felt her warmth with my fingertips. She was so beautiful.... I could have stared at her beauty forever, we talked with each other for ages, she never let me down. We sing songs and listen to music together. She'd tell me what songs were playing and even though I had no clue, she'd always know what it was. I loved her for that. We had a connection... and I believed it would last forever.
Then that faithful night came, and the whole world came crashing down on us. The winds were blowing hard, we were caught in the middle of a huge downpour. We fought through those heavy rains, the turbulant waters nearly swept us away. It was dark, wet and cold. She struggled through, I didn't think she could bare it anymore. I brought her home as fast as I could. I rested her on my bed, she was weak, but her bright smile still shone through the dark. I thought everything was going to be okay. I collapsed in exhaustion, and fell asleep in the middle of the living room.
I woke up on my own the next day. It was strange... she was usually the one to wake me up. There was an eerie quietness as the pale ray of sunlight peeked through the tiny openings in the curtains. Then I remembered last night, and I ran back to my bed. There she was, lying lifeless. My heart sank as I picked her up. She was unresponsive to my pleas. I held her tightly and begged her to wake up. It was too soon for her to go, we had only done so much together. I cried out to my housemates for help. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, as my sadness and fear of her loss started to came over me.
She was gone they said. She didn't make it. She had swallowed too much water. Memories of the time we spent together flashed through my head. I didn't want to let her go! I opened the curtains and let a flood of warm light fill the room and over my bed where she lay. She is cold, I thought, she just needs to be warm. The sun is shining, I told her, you have to wake up. My friends shook their heads and left me waiting for her to wake up.
I waited for hours, she remained unresponsive and cold. In a desperate attempt to revive her, I used a heating device to warm her. I felt the warm air rising from the bed, the heat engulfing me and her. Suddenly, there was a response... a tiny one, but I knew from that second she was alive. I put down the hairdryer and jumped for joy. MY MOBILE PHONE IS STILL ALIVE!!!!
But alas, this crazy tale does not have a happy ending. She came back to life, but she lost her memory. She doesn't remember who I am or any of our friends. I will care and nurture her and try to bring her back to her former self. Our love for each other kept her alive, and we will keep on living no matter what. BOOOYA!
hahah, look at me, I'm actually posting something!
This was half-written during summer in sydney:
Heya you guys, I got an urge to blog today. Problem is that my life isnt that much interesting to blog about as of late. Owh, I had my maple computing test yesterday. Wassat you ask? Its a maths computing test. Using a computer program to solve calculus and algebra problems, not sure if they have that in UBD or not. I thought I did okay, some of the programming language seemed to not work as its supposed to, but hopefully I passed this test. I also have a normal handwritten calculus test tomorrow, so wish me luck.
Anyways, other than the fact that I've been doing maths all this summer, what else have I been doing? That's the first thing people ask me and I'll give them almost the same answer everytime: Aku drumah saja. They would in turn say "what? why? you're in sydney man! go and enjoy yourself!!!" I would then say, "eh, I'm here to study not have fun!" but dalam hati, I would say; "I have no money to go out and have fun, :("
Sydney is a pretty expensive place city, heck its one of the most expensive places in the world to live in. Yeah, I got an allowance from shell, but more than half of than goes to rent and bills, and another quarter goes to food supplies. If I'm not careful with the final quarter of that allowance can be spent in less than a week. So I save my money, I try to anyway. This summer most of my friends have gone home so I dont have much reason to go out really.
So I'm stuck at home, and what do I do? Well, I have internet and my Ps3. But lately, I dont have the mood to play any of those stupidly expensive games I bought for my ps3. This is quite weird, cause I was an avid gamer in my teens (no, I'm not a counter-stike guy), but I always buy loads of pirated games at one go when I go out. Maybe it's because in the playstation days, the games were actually fun compared to the ones you have now which are basically clones and rehashes of one another. I should make a post about games one of these days.
Anyways, I'm a movie guy, I love it and try to watch a movie every week. Usually, I download TV series since I'm stuck at home most of the time, but what makes suckier about summer break is that tv series takes summer breaks as well. So I have to wait a whole month before new episodes of ugly betty, heroes, terminator, pushing daisies start. I've been watching friends and scrubs a lot though lately and I recently bought a blu-ray version of heroes season 1, which is I have got to say still awesome.
Oh yeah, I was talking about movies, and I wanted to talk about a movie I've been keeping track of since it was announced feew years back. The movie I'm referring to is of course, TERMINATOR SALVATION!
**** end***
Wow... I never really finish what I start, do I? Well, though a few months has pasts, this post is still relevant. Well, pushing daisies has been cancelled, and terminator sarah connor chronicles has reached its could be final episode (the episode was so awesome btw!), but fortunately, terminator salvation hasn't premiered yet, so I can still give you my two cents on it.
Awesomeness right? If you guys noticed, this is where I first found out about the NIN song (the day the whole world went away) that's playing on the blog at the moment. The cover of the song in the trailer is great! But, I'm not here to talk about the song, I'm here to talk about the movie.
I became a hardcore terminator fan ever since I bought terminator 2 dvd. Yes, I watched it before, but I watched it at a younger age where I didn't understand a whole lot. I bought the dvd when I had 'intelligence' so to speak, and it was also my first DVD 9, the closest you could get to HD at the time. I fell in love with it, the characters, the story, the eye candy. Eventually I bought the first terminator dvd as well, and I loved that even more. When you compare the two, the first one had tons of drama and depth but lacked the visual wonder which is the 2nd terminator. When terminator 3 was announced, I was expecting so much more, but we all know how that movie turned out.
Terminator 3 was just a rethread of terminator 2 and seemed liked another product of high position execs making all the decisions. I wanted a movie to deepen the terminator mythology and advance it. Fortunately for me, terminator the sarah connor chronicles did that for me. And I hope that terminator salvation can do this for me as well. This movie went through so much rewrites and drama (Chris Bale and his tantrum), the director McG promising us fans so many. Let's hope it turns out well.
Salvation continues where 3 left off, the world ending. John Connor must lead mankind to salvation from the machines. The coolest thing about this movie is the fact that it takes place in the future, which we only had glimpses of in the past movies. So we can actually see a full-fledged war between man and machine. Another thing about the terminator series is the whole time-travelling aspect and its connections and consequences. This is integral to the story this time round, and I hope they can explore this properly. We'll also see how the t-800s come into being and if this movie is succesful, more terminator sequels! Another reason why I hope this movie is good, is that the future of the series (Sarah connor chronicles) also hangs on how well the movie does. Here's keeping my fingers crossed!
Mrs.Neverlost, or sometimes, Ms Always lost or Ms being a bitch, just wanted to say that these past two days with you have been great. You may have been a pain sometimes, but you eventually got us to where we wanted to be. You have definately made our trip very memorable. Going to miss your monotonous upper class brit snob woman voice and your illogical instructions (turn left? INTO THE WALL?). Till we meet again madamoiselle.
Easter break is here! Yahooooo, I'm going on my first road trip ever in a few hours, hope it goes well. I leave you guys with this video I found, seriously funny stuff. SEe ya guys!!!
I'm in my dreadfully boring geo lecture right now. Downloaded this blogging application for $4. After two days of continuous geo tests, assignments and labs. I'm so glad the weekend is tomorrow.
