The end of student life

It's 2 in the morning, just finished making a post to the KITA blog. Tron Legacy soundtrack blasting off my speakers. Finally announced to my oldest mates about my degree classification and me returning home. Other than my mom, and a few close friends here, they're the first ones I've told publicly. This whole day has been quite a blur to me, I never really thought about it, or maybe I was just finding ways to avoid thinking about it, but I'm finally a certified engineer and it's scaring the living daylights out of me.

Not only was it four years in the making, but an entire lifetime up to now... my future is now decided, what I'm going to be doing for the next five years (or longer). No more books, no more study, no more freedom... did I work hard for it? was it all worth the trouble? Second Class honors Degree Classification... Not exactly something to be proud of but not exactly one to be disappointed of either. Yeah, I'm still afraid of what everyones reaction to it will be, mostly the "why not first class" remarks or looks. I give the impression that I don't care what people think (well at least I try to) but it is in fact my greatest weakness. Telling my mom that I got the official classification on the phone was quite hard, I kept trying not to break. I told her before it was official about not being able to get first class, she was okay with it, she was happy I passed with honors and got my degree. I love her for that, but I still felt bad nonetheless. I begged her not to tell my dad who's I'm the most scared and to disappoint. The basic conversation was repeated in the new call, and it was still hard. I know I'm not the same level as my peers, but it till burns however better I try to make myself feel.

I just have to deal with it I guess. Keep telling myself that. Enjoying my last free time as a student/graduate to take my mind off things. Making random trips and activities around Sydney. The last weeks have been great, might talk about it more in detail. Here's a little preview: