Head-Clearing

I'm in my almost totally pitch dark room right now on my bed starring at the glaring light which is this laptop screen. I guess I've been hiding from my thoughts these past weeks. Avoiding blogs and sometimes internet as a whole. Sorta turned into a couch potato ever since I ended my attachment in Seria. Today has gotta be one of my most wasted days, watching movies on DVD which I've already seen, by myself, how fucking sad is that?

Guess I've been a bit flaky lately. Owh, I tried being productive. I joined national day for god sakes. Dropped sick after two days of it and was forced into bed rest for a week. Doc sed I'm 'not used' to national day. The whole reason I joined was so that I could get a taste of what it was like to perform under the hot sun and rub against hot sweaty people you barely know. It was fun.

So I got a developed a fever and hacking coughs, head splitting migraines and my legs gone numb and I was so weak I barely could do shit. The doc said I am intolerant to heat. hahah, like, daymn, must have some kind of princess blood in me. Nothing but a delicate piece of useless air breathing meat. Had to stop, felt sorry for my dad who pulled a lotta strings so I could join. So I moped around at home, watching tv. I had these constant headaches and which rendered me incapable of thinking straight for awhile. I was a freakin zombie.

I planned to do a lotta things after finishing attachment. Blog, finish up my BASS admin duties, continue doing my comics and artworks, spend some time with friends, jog. Being stuck at home sick with no car, a sister who doesnt want to do anything, and crappy reruns of boring tv shows can drive a person out of his mind. Yeah I turned down going out with some people, yeah I avoided going online cause I was too fucking lazy to blog, yeah its all my fault, I'm driving myself insane.

Going back to Sydney soon, and I really need to get my head on the right way. GAWD, I NEED MY CAR. I need to watch a movie in the cinema, I need retail theraphy, I need.....I need a shrink.