The thinker

Do you ever get the feeling that there's something more to all this? I say I believe in Allah and I try to be a good muslim as thought by my parents. Funnily, I ask myself, why do I still do the stuff I do knowing that I'm just fucking wasting my time, when I could be doing something more meaningful. I have the disadvantage of not going to Ugama school when I was little, I don't know how to read or write in Arabic. I still go on, trying to do the stuff I'm supposed to do even though I don't understand a majority of it. Why do people who know more than I do, know and understand the consequences more than I do, act worst than I do? Why do people preach but never do as they have taught? I am not perfect, I admit that, and everyone has their own fair share of faults, but I find it annoying that a majority out there abuse their previleges, and make others who dont have that previlege feel insignificant. I don't know, maybe I'm being sensitive, but man, the MIB culture here is full of shit.

I don't understand people, I dont even understand myself half of the freakin time. Why am I suddenly talking about religion and ragging on my culture? Am I typing this out as a message to myself or as a prat seeking out attention? I think I'm starting to lose it a little. Drowning in a society of hypocrisy, I don't even understand what I'm doing and why for. Am I stuck on a leash, or did I just bound my own self and not even bother looking for the key? Does this even matter if I type this out? Am I going to come to my senses, fuck, is anyone going to come to their right freakin mind? What is the right freakin mind anyway? Who are you to judge what is right and wrong? Who are you to say who is smart and who is dumb? Why do you go out today and dress that way and act that way? Is it really important what people think? Who are you truly? Sooner or later, you're going to joke about this with your friends and yet still ache inside thinking about it. The answers, you have. The will, you need to find. Philosphical shit just to make you feel better about yourself, don't come crying when things start to fall apart over and over again. +d440+ out