One Last Cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

*********************************
One last cry before Ramadhan. Hehe, happy fasting to all muslims. All my love to you...

Big step

Today was seemed different, something was shown to me and I took a huge risk and went for it. At the time, it seemed the right choice, the timing perfect. All my worries and doubts could be answered if I went for this. It was thrusted to me and I took it.

Now suddenly, I"m thinking about it. God, why do I do this, when I finally think I did something right, I start thinking back and it just spoils it for me. Now I'm stressed, now I can't concentrate, now I feel like beating myself up and throwing up. I'm doing this to myself, I know, I have problems accepting my actions sometimes. Sigh... and I really need this to work, cuz I can't afford another stupid mistake. I dont think I can handle it.

Blankness

Totally blanked out right now. Just drank black expresso coffee cuz I wanted to do my report which I thought I had to hand up in the morning. Turns out its not due till next week. hahha, shit Hadee, you need to keep track of stuff. Well, now I'm wide awake, and gonna be for the next few hours cause this coffee is 'that' strong.

Well, I'm blank right now and not sure what to do. I'm staring at my WANTED poster with Angelina Jolie on it. Its covered with post-it notes because I had no where to stick em. Still havent watched the movie and its long played out. Wanted to watch WANTED when it was still at the cinemas but was broke at the time. Meh...money, after that god awful experience of worrying and starving myself, I really need to watch my spendings. Went grocery shopping for the first time in a long time just now. Passing by all the other shops, that old feeling started flooding back. The need to buy anything shiny. hahah

I saving up some of my allowance money, cuz I wanna go somewhere interesting during my next break. Was thinking of visiting my friends in NZ. But I was looking at the travelling section of the newspaper and there is a whole lot of other places i could go to with the same price. hhaha, I'd really like to go all around the world one day. And the thing thats stopping me, and everyone else, is money and time. So i wanna go overseas, I need money. For money, I need to work. I'm considered partly working now, since shell is paying me. But, I have to be here to study. So when i finish, i have to work. To get the money to go globe tripping, you need to work and save up for years. So what I'm worried about is, how long will i have to wait. Time is precious and anything can happen.

Hm...life is sooo.... hm hm.. Well, I hope Allah the almighty will give me a chance to explore this mysterious place he created called earth. insyaa allaah. And hopefully, I get to see it with all of you by my side. hee, AMIN.