What am I doing here?

View from Scientia Bld where I had my MATS&CHEM exam.

I don't know what to make of yesterday. I can still feel the burn in my insides, I want to sleep it off but I slept for 12 fuckin hours last night. Woke up just in time for Friday prayers just now. In the eve of my MATS xam, I slept for 2 hours, which I guess didnt help at all. I did manage to get a few extra hours of reading, but in the end, I think I still fucked up the god forsaken exam. Amazingly, I managed to do the Chem part, and what stressed my out, was the fact that the Materials section was so fuckin hard. I left our reading a few topics and whaddya noe, those topics came out and the one I concentrated on didnt.

What is education anyway, FUCKING MEMORIZING A TEXTBOOK? I hate it here, I feel so stupid cause hey what do you know, I HAVE PROBLEMS MEMORIZING STUFF. It also, do the same fucking questions over and over again until it gets all systematic and you repeat it for the xams. And at the end of the day, we're gonna forget this stuff. Look at me blaming the education system. Sigh, I know at the end of the day, it all comes from the effort I put in and yeah, maybe I could have put a lot more effort. But how can you put effort into something you don't enjoy? The pressure with all these expectations and my SHELL scholarship and future job lingering in the balance is really stressin me out. Life is fucked up.

Me resting next to Izah on the way to Bondi Junction.

Well, I left the exam hall an hour early. Just needed to get out of there, cause theres nothing more I could salvage from that paper. Stressin out so much I called home, first time in 3 weeks. It was really good to hear my mom's voice again. All and all, dissappointing her is what I dread the most. So I told her everything, which I rarely do. I really miss having someone to let it all out to. After our talk, I took her advice I went out with my friends.

Asqa, Yamin, Zimah & Nisah

Hafiz control

Bondi Junction, havent been there in awhile. Went with Hafiz, Yamin, Asqa, Nisah, Izah and Zimah. Met up with Long and Leena there. Did manage to have some fun. What do Bruneians do best? WINDOW SHOPPING! And what better place to go window shopping than Bondi Junction. Mall is just a corner shop compared to this place. So many things on my wish list. A wii, camcorder, and new speaker system. But when I really thought about it, I dont really think I deserve it, I mean, I'm just wasting away Shell and my parents money without having anything to show. I have a perfectly good DS anyway. Will probably buy the wii for my sister.

Long(center) big $pender got new clothes. Asqa (right) bought a new harddisk. Yamin(left) got nothing, heheh.

After walking around and looking at all the cool new gadgets, clothes and other stuff went to eat at the foodcourt, Long went back early cause of expensive parking. A word of advise, eating out when you're hungry, is never a good idea. Spent $13.50 on my meal. kenyang plang and it was seafood which I haven't had in awhile. The others had indian food.

Well after eating, went to do more window shopping. I went to the BORDERS book store. Books are expensive btw. Soon it was getting late, and went back to meet my friends. Wow, its so easy to get lost. Made everyone miss the bus (sorry guys) had to wait up for the next one. By the end of the day my mood just died on me. Was thinking too much again. Like, what am I doing here, really? I feel a little better now though after typing this up. I just need to talk more I guess, hahah, well my last exam, GEOs, is on Wednesday, gonna learn from my mistakes and revise and study MORE than is capable of a human being, just to make sure. Wish me luck you guys, can't wait to be home in Brunei.

Christmas decorations are up ready, can't wait for the holidays.

SEASONS PASS

Time goes by so fast, you really couldn't tell it was nearing the end of the year already. In fact, my semester has ended and yeah...

No more waking up early to go to very "interesting" lectures like this person up here. heheh. Would be celebrating the great year that has passed. Season changed and before you knew it, it was already.


Spring, and then it was...

Hari Raya (picture changed due to explicit content :P ) and then, before you knew it,

It was already halloween!

Things are moving so fast, its gonna be christmas soon. Hhaha, but the fact is, when time goes by quickly, you forget the important things like, owh, EXAMS!

So the time came to hide off inside your apartment, and start reading the stuff that you were supposed to read and revise weeks ago. You ignore the whole world, and go insane and try to jam everything into your head. You find new friends, like REDBULL.

Seasons passed, and went through half of my papers already. Tomorrow is Material and Chem Exam. The dreaded maths and computing has been done. Gawd, I'm so hungry, but I've spent too much cash on Redbull already, hahaha, fucking addictive AND EXPENSIVE. +d440+ out!

EXAMS

aarExam?

EXAM???

EXAM???

EXAAAAAAAAAAAMM!!!???

ARGHHHH

ARrrrrrgh


ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!

*dies*

I'm out of my mind

Hey you guys, did you know I gave up;

an ipod touch, and;

a psp slim, to get a

new Sony DCR SR42 HDD 30gb digital handicam?

Well yeah, I had a choice, and the priciest being the Sony. My parents wanted to get me either an ipod touch or a psp slim for my birthday. I agreed to that, but unfortunately I discovered EBAY and lo and behold, I found that beautiful piece of technology for sale at a good price lower than its usual market price. 700 was the total price, ORIGINAL retail price is...1000+. So I went for the SONY HANDYCAM, I paid for half and my mom paid for half. All was settled, and I awaited the arrival of this handycam. The next day I checked my mailbox.

Nothing...so I checked again the next day...

Nothing...so I checked again the following day...

Still nothing... this went on for a week. Today I woke up early to call the shop in the USA using my houseline and god only knows how much the international call rate is. I waited on hold for nearly half a fucking hour and when they finally answered, "owh... your order was cancelled, cause your credit card didnt approve your address, you should find a different method of paying"

~siigh.... I cancelled the order cause communicating with those idiots is a pain. Fuck, like couldnt they have told me something went wrong instead of making me wait like a freakin idiot. They refunded me the money yes, but what about that international calls I made. Fuck, everything has been so crazy lately. Stress out with exams, stressed out of boredom, I feel like my heads gonna explode. Yeah, my phone got busted and it cant play music properly, yeah my camera got busted and the controls all wonky, yeah my rooms a mess and I get these fucking headaches. Things hasnt been right for me lately... can't wait for exams to be over, can't wait to be home with my friends. +d440+ out.

HEROES SE2 - 07

Peter and Caitlin in New York 2008

Like WTF? Heroes, since the first episode, got me hooked. My cousin Syuaib just wouldn't stop talking about it. I thought it was just another hey watch it cause everyone is watching it so I didnt bother at first. But hoho, he convinced me to watch it and whaddya know, its AWESOME. Hahah, I'm a sorta comic bookish person and this series is yeah, supposed to be one huge comic book. Well now it's already in it's second season and I just finished watching episode 7 (which took one whole day to download, fucked up internet speeds) and this is one of the best episodes. Since the start of season, I've got to say that the writing wasn't up to par with the last season. They were like mashing things together and just for the sake of it. And now this writer's strike thing, I was starting to lose hope that heroes will reach potential greatness again.

But hoho, came episode 7 and this was a EXCELLENT EPISODE, remeniscent of the first few episodes of SEASON 1. The jaw dropping was there, but that's common in every episode, but the story is actually building up to something now instead of introducing us to random characters of the past few episodes. I guess the first few episodes was juat a slow introduction and finally we're getting some action and good pure heroes drama. I won't spoil to those who haven't watched it yet except to say that it's excellent episode and it's so good it gave me chills. Well, the chills may be because it's pretty cold this morning, but yeah whatever. Hahah, d440 out!

Can't keep Away (Space filler)

Yeah, can't keep away, stupid me. ~huuu, I need to keep moving around and changing stuff up, cause if I slow down and stop, things will become clear and I'll just go insane with stress. Exam stress? Yeah, that's probably it. Or maybe this closed time and space just magnifies my problems and idiocys (is that even a word?). I've been running alot lately, every chance I get. Avoiding everything... just sitting there by the pond surrounded by nature. Things become clear for me then, but when I sit and study in my room, my head just crams up and nothing wants to get in. I move around to the library and cafes, and I do get some studying done, only problem is that the library is way up on upper campus and cafes in Sydney close at 6 (yeah WTF!?). Also don't have money to sit around in cafes, spent AUD$10+ today just for lunch and a couple cups of coffees (~ARGGGH!)

Funnily, while i was jogging just now, I felt like saying something particular for this post. But, now that I'm sitting here, I'm too lazy and I got a headache as it is so I don't think I'm gonna say it now. If only I could say what I want to say without actually saying anything, get the message out, something like that. For now, I'm gonna say the usual stuff I say. FUCK I should be studying, FUCK some people really fucking annoy me, FUCK I'm such an insecure prick, FUCK I miss you guys. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck... heheh

+d440+ out

dUM dum dum

dum dum dum...
...it's last day of session 2

dum dum dum...
...one week break and then...

dum dum dum...
...FINAL EXAMS ARGHHHH and...

dum dum dum...
...not studying? BOY I'M FUCKING DUMB!

***** *********
d440 has temporarily killed his obsessed internet self, and will not be resurrected, UNLESS HE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO RESURRECT HIMSELF BEFORE THE END OF XAMS, well...it means, I'm trying to lesson my impulses on internet addiction. CURSE YOU EBAY AND FAST INTERNET SPEEDS. Wish me luck for xams, wish me luck for not going crazy, and good luck to everyone else. ********* *****

Owh... as a last post before i go on hiatus, AMAR THE TEEN TITAN FREAK TAGGED ME (visit him at http://ammr606.blogspot.com/ ) with '7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF THING!'

1. The 1st Random Fact Thing About me: I pee standing up *GASSSPS*
2. 2ND RANDOM FACT: Nature fascinates me, I love getting lost in huge parks.
3. 3rd RANDOM FACT: My scars heal slow (both physical and emotional) heheh
4. 4th RANDOM FACT: I am overly capable of love, but incapable of expressing it no matter how hard i try
5. 5th RANDOM FACT: I make pastas not malay food
6. 6th RANDOM FACT: I'VE lost 15kg and still losing
7. 7th RANDOM FACT: I bought something really expensive on EBAY and I really not sure if it was worth it. FUCK U EBAY.

Those were the fact things, AND NOW I WILL CURSE 7 MORE PEOPLE to suffer this curse suffering...ness...thing:

1. SALWA (IF YOU SAY YOU'RE STUDYING, YOU WOULDNT BE READING THIS)
2. DIN (WHERE ARE U MAN?)
3. PU3 (SKJAP ADA, SKJAP NADA, APA NIIIII?)
4. ARYF (IF HE'S STILL ALIVE)
5. FATIN (IF SHE BOTHERS TO READ THIS BLOG)
6. WHOEVER READS THIS AND HAS A BLOG
7. ....I need more friends... :P